Sadface?

Sadface? :(?

At least I found out early, right?

Gone?

Have you ever felt like when you talked to someone it's like everything you say to them goes in one ear and out the other?

When you want to tell them the most exciting news in the world and they just bring the entire conversation back to themselves?

When you would describe their attempts as, "Pathetic?"

When you think that you would rather listen to anything else than their current obsession?

When someone asks you who they are, and you can't descibe them like how you used to?

When they let things go too far.

When they seem blind to everything around them, unless it's a mirror.




When they're gone.
Forever.

This sucks.

It sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks.

I hate it when this happens.

When you decide that the world revolves around you.

When you decide that YOU are the best thing ever.

When you figure that no one else wants to talk about THEIR pain.


When I lose you.

Glance.

Take a breath and smell the roses.

Take a good look at your friends and think whether or not you're causing harm.

Quit just glancing and pretending like nothing is wrong.

Because we've all got issues.

And they're all equal.

The world revolves around the sun.



Actually look.

Please?

ignorance.

Go ahead...

Don't talk to me.

Don't notice me.

Pretend like I'm not here.

And make me hurt inside.

Ignore me.

But if you are ignoring me, then you are ignoring the world.

To the world I am one person. To one person, I am the world.

Ready. Set. March.

They say that the weather in March goes in like a lion and out like a lamb, but what I didn't realize is that it can also apply to friendships.

My March has so far been a 4 on a scale of 1-10 (ten being the best). All that March has seemed to bring is feuds and frustrations. From the outside looking in, my life actually looks pretty good. I'm a pretty happy person when I'm around a lot of people, but in the background I don't know what to think, feel, or say.

High school is supposed to be the best years of our lives, but no one said that they also seem to be the most complicated also. Then more complications seem to be added on when you get transferred to another school, need to find new friends, hold on to the best friends that still attend the old school, play a few sports, be in the school play, AND keep the grades up.

But hey...who said that high school was supposed to be fun?

Fights.

When we fight I get to the point that I am shaking. And then when you leave, I feel like my heart is breaking.

Romeo & Juliet.

For those of you who are familiar with the story of Romeo and Juliet, written by William Shakespeare in the mid to late 1500's, you know how the tragedy ends.

But have you ever considered that they might have had it easy? Even though they had to deal with the never-ending fray between their two families, they didn't have to deal with knowing whether or not the other person loved them back. They didn't have to hide their love from each other. All that they knew was that they loved each other and that they couldn't do anything about that. Multiple times they said that they were moving too fast, but they never slowed down, because they both knew that their love was true.

Why isn't there love like that in our world today? Most people say because we're smarter now, and now we don't die so early. Plus, they were teenagers, it was their hormones.

I think that it's because we just don't believe that brand of love ever really did exist in real life. I find this very depressing. Maybe since I'm a major romantic, I believe that this love is still possible, even at high school age, no matter what anybody says.

Those people who keep telling me that love is fake, and not worth dying for gets me kind of frustrated. Well, just wait until they fall in love. They'll be so head-over-heels for the person that they won't be able to handle it.

So, ha! When you don't know what to do with the feelings that you have, where will I be?

Romeo and Juliet. We salute you.

Sickness.

I stayed home sick for the past two days, and it isn't very fun. I've had to do the massive amounts of homework for school, while having my head pound the entire time.

But I think that I have realized that being sick is a blessing in disguise. I have been able to blog a lot (as you may have noticed), and I have also been able to write more of my book.

I love love stories, so that is ALL I have been thinking of for the past two days. So sorry if I keep referencing to love. :D I'm just a little obsessive. ;]

Well thanks for letting me ramble on. :D

Sap.

I am one of th biggest, most sappy romatics that you will ever meet. It's also pretty pathetic. I'm one of those people that believe in love at first sight, and soul-mates. Not that I think everyone falls in love the second that they see their soul-mate, but I do think that it's possible to see someone and feel unbelievable feelings for them right away.

Love is...complicated.
(but that is a given.)

I've heard that you know that you are in love when you miss that person every second that they are away from you. I've heard that when you are with them, it all gets simple, and that you are happiest when you are just there holding onto their hand, and listening to them breathe.

But I think I have finally figured out what love is.

Love is when you are sitting in bed crying, but at the same time smiling because you know that they are happy. Love is when you don't want to go to sleep, because life is better then a dream. Love is when you're in a room full of people, and they are the first one that you look for. Love is when you find yourself randomly smiling and realizing that it's because you are thinking of them. Love is when you see the entire world in their eyes, and see their eyes in the world.

Love. is. complicated.

Liar, liar

Who said that life wasn't going to hurt?
Because whoever said that is a liar.
(You'll be able to tell who is a liar, their pants should be on fire.)


Life hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.

And it hurts even more knowing that you wont be there for me when I need you most.
i don't want to fight anymore. I want to be there with you everyday. I want to feel what you fell, and I want to know that you love me.

I just don't know what to think anymore.

When you were there I was happier then I could ever be. You made me laugh, and now you make me cry. I shed a tear for you everyday, and I laugh because of you everyday too.

So was it a lie when you said that? Was it a lie when you laughed with me?

I know that it isn't, because your pants aren't on fire.

I know that you do love me, and that you want to be there for me. I realize that we just don't see eye to eye all the time, but who DOES? I don't want to let go, and I know that you don't want to either.
You're my best friend, and that will never change.

Sorry, but...
You're just going to have to deal with me and my stubbornness. :D

Good.Luck. :)

Complications.

The story of my life, and the sad part is that it's not that complicated.

It all seemed to get tangled when I said one sentence.

Too bad that I can't say one sentence to make it all simple again.

...or un-say it.

soul-mates.

I once heard this story when I was little. It's a story from ancient Greek mythology. I hope you like it.

At the beginning of time the Gods had created people with two heads, and four legs. Zeus one day looked down from Olympis and relaized that there was great love between the two heads, and he took his bright bolt of lightening and split the being right down the middle. Then he took the new people, who now had merely only one head and two arms, and he put them as far apart as earth would allow them to be.
Inside the two people had a new emptiness inside of them, and they realized that they were feeling a need for the other. Now people spend their lives trying to find that other half, their soul-mate. And now, they find each other, everyday.

Relationships.

Relationship: noun;
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people.

I think that relationships are just plain frustrating.
There are lots of different types of relationships, but there are three specific ones that come to thought whenever we hear relationships.
Enemy:
-Someone we either hate, or just plain don't get along with.
Friend:
-Either someone we use as an excuse so that we don't have to sit alone at the lunchtable, or someone who we can tell ANYTHING.
Lover:
-Someone who could never ever turn their back on us, who we have a bond with that is impossible to explain.

Then there are the complicated relationships. Relationships that make us cry, and that aren't fairytales.
There is that relationship that you love someone, but they don't love you back.
There is the relationship where you love someone, and they love you AND someone else.
There is that relationhip where they love you, but they don't love you.
There is the realtionship that you do love the person, but you made a mistake.

These relationships hurt.

To those who are brokenhearted, life sucks.
Eventually we will get over the fact that our boyfriends were cheating on us in high school.

They suck.
In a few years they will be alone, wondering what they did wrong.

God is always there, and he always will be. Even when you want to be left alone.

As if...

You could just press call and say "Hi."
You could just ask me to dance.
You could just ask me to go out with you.
You could just hold my hand.
You could just kiss me goodnight.
You could just tell me that you miss me when you left 5 minutes before.
You could just hug me whenever you see me and spin me around like it's a dream.
You could just hug me and never let go.
You could just realize that I have feelings for you that you can't comprehend.
You could just make my heart flutter like you used to.
You could just make my dreams come true.
You could just answer my prayers.
You could just be there for me through thick and thin.
You could just make me laugh when I'm hurting.
You could just come over because you felt like it.
You could just send me a letter.
You could just watch the sunset with me.
You could just invite me to your games.
You could just send me a link to a youtube video, because you thought I'd like it.
You could just call me because you just heard our song on the radio again.
You could just IM me so I can avoid doing homework.
You could just make me take a present, even though I hate them.
You could just tell me to come to the movies, because it's Valentine's Day, which I hate more.
You could just make my heart melt.
You could just make me giggle, because it's so easy.
You could just make me faint.
You could just blush.
You could just tell me I look beautiful.
You could just make my heart rate rise.
You could just tell me that you're sorry when we've had our first fight.
You could just tell me that you love me.

But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

It's just as easy...

Life isn't always perfect. In fact, it rarely is. And life definantly doesn't go as we plan it does. But I have recently realized that there is a simple solution to this problem. We can take our life into our own hands. When that one person throws you into a sea of frustration, you can't sit there everytime, and hope that they will realize what they have done and throw you a life raft. Sometimes you have to pull yourself out. It is just plain stupid to sit there and hope that someone else will make the first move when it's just as easy for you to ask them, or say sorry first.

This might actually make life a little bit easier.
But then again, what does a 14 year old girl know?

Untouchable.

In the words of Taylor Swift...
* I'm caught up in you/ You're untouchable burning brighter then the sun/ And when you're close I feel like coming undone/ In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream/ It's like a million little stars spelling out your name/ You got to come on/Come on/ Say that we'll be together/ Come on/ Come on/ Little taste of heaven/*

God is untouchable. I get caught up when I read His word, and dream of the day he comes to bring me home. He's brighter then the sun, because he is the light of the world, and the light of my life. He's the twinkle in everones eyes, and the joy in our laughter. The whole world sings his glory, and the stars spell out his name for all to see. He's with me always, and I'll see him in heaven when I'm gone.

Taylor Swift knows what she's talking about.

My friends are...freaks.

Tis true, but I never said that was a bad thing. My best friends have been there for me through thick and thin, and I couldn't imagine my life without them, and I don't want to. My life would basically suck without them.

Cinderkellie:
The loudest of us all, she won't ever give you a chance to NOT hear what she wants you to hear. When you finally get your earplugs (haha...just kidding kellie) you find out that she is one of the best friends that you could ask for. She makes you laugh when you need it most, and can take whatever she dishes out to you.

Lexilou:
The A/V Tech. geek, she loves making videos. Anything with wires fascinates her. She loves to learn about softwares and how to express herself through videos.

and last, but not least..

Byzzabelle:
The biggest brain that you will ever meet in your life, even if she doesn't think so. I can count on her for anything, and I'm proud to say that. Also a writer she's "my personal, walking thesaurus."

I love these three more then they understand.

Thank you girlies. You rock my socks! ;]

Monitor Masks.

If you are reading this, you are probably on the computer. Most of you are either checking your email, IMing friends, or updating your facebook/mysoace wall of page (whatever it's called).
There are so many ways of communication: writing a letter, calling or talking face to face.
My question is, why are you on the internet instead?
My theory is that most of us (including myself) decide to instant message and email because of fear. We want to be bold, and couragous, but none of us want to see the aftermath of a person when we give someone "tough love", or when we confront someone about a problem we have with them.

We use the internet to hide.

But, what we don't know is that it hurts more when we hide behind a monitor, instead of telling someone that we care, and that we DO love them.
This is probably horribley blunt, but we are all cowards. Yet, there are peices courage in us that we have to do in person. Like telling someone that you love them for the first time (you BETTER not have told them through text).

Fear, courage. What compells you?